Mustard seedlings emerge rapidly but tend to grow slowly after emergence. Under favorable moisture and temperature conditions, the ground will be covered in four or five weeks.
Five weeks after emergence, the plant will begin to bud. At this stage, the crop will appear rather uneven. A week to 10 days later the plant will develop into full yellow bloom and the stand will appear more even. Good moisture supplies favor a long blossoming period, and longer blooming periods result in higher yield potential. Full-grown plants vary in height from 30 to 45 inches, depending on type, variety and environmental conditions.
So if mustard grows mainly along the ground, and only fully mature plants become bushes, 45 inches tall at the max, it's odd to see it described as a great tree. And the second odd feature is that the fowls of the air nesting in this tree were just previously identified as the devil in the parable of the sower! This is not such a favorable picture now it it? So how is it that the kingdom of heaven becomes a hangout for the devil?
One answer that has been proposed is that the mustard plant is a model of the church. In this view, the church is intended to spread throughout all the world, just as the mustard plant is to spread out along the ground. But when the church becomes corrupted or backslidden it takes on a vertical structure. This is a perversion of the intended growth pattern of the church. Instead of spreading out from house to house, as in Acts 4 it begins to follow the way of the world.
Acts 2:46 And they, continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart,
So the mustard seed parable is not meant as a definition of the kingdom but a description of what can and does happen as the kingdom is coming into being. This can be seen in the story of the wheat and tares as well. A man sowed seed, but the enemy came along and sowed tares.
As for a definition of the Kingdom, I tend to think of it in terms of the Disciples Prayer, thy kingdom come, thy will be done. This would mean, that where the Father's will is done, the kingdom has come. Or The Kingdom of God is wherever God is King. Also from John 3 you can see that entering the Kingdom requires being led by the Spirit.
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